I grew up in a family with only one parent, my mom. And now, my five kids are also getting used to having only me because their dad is not here. I threw him out of the house after twenty years of marriage and fifty or so mistresses later. Do not get me started on the illegitimate children. It is as if he is a fire extinguisher, blowing out his sperm to any woman who wants to catch it.
“Single parent households in both the US and England have jumped from less than 10 percent in the 1970s to roughly 30 percent today. Some women are single parents through divorce or separation or unplanned pregnancies, but a growing number choose to have and a raise babies on their own,” according to Susan Newman Ph.D.
Being a single parent can be one of the toughest “jobs” in the world. Raising kids and providing for them all at the same and by yourself can be very stressful, according to psychologists. You worry about what other people might say and how your child is going to be accepted in society for there will always be a stigma on single parenting.
“Misinformation about mental illness shames and discriminates those suffering with depression from getting professional help.”
—Deborah Serani, PsyD
Mental Illness is the stigma of the mind that is common nowadays. The cases of patients battling with the illness have been increasing through the years. But, what if it happens in one of our family members? What can we do to support and help them recover from the illness?
Can married couples mend your failing marriage with or without counseling? Do you think you can resolve your problems without a professional help? Learn more about it here.
Fixing A Marriage Without Counseling
So how do you fix your broken marriage without counseling? Does spending time together work?
How Can You Heal Your Union By Yourselves?
“Share your feelings. Share that you want to feel close to your partner and how important they are to you,” Stuart B. Fensterheim, licensed clinical social worker said.
Marriage is all about open communication.
Married couples could not be psychics or mind readers according to licensed clinical social worker. If you need date night or want physical touch or physical intimacy, make sure to tell your spouse. No matter how much you two know each other, practice self awareness in life and say what’s in your mind.
Talk And Touch, Especially When Fixing Fights
Sincerity makes a big difference in a long term relationship and also in fixing marital spats. Unhappy marriage issues that happen are just actually a build-up of little moments that got dragged onto extended periods.
Be sincere when talking about these broken marriage issues and do them consistently to fix a broken marriage independently.
Think back on what your spouse would like as a gift. Give one partner gifts from time to time to remind him or her that you still have their interests in mind. Buy these gifts to shower your spouse with appreciation. He or she will feel important.
Getting Help From The Psych Expert
Change For The Better And For Yourself
Yes, fixing a failing marriage requires two people to act but that doesn’t mean you can’t take the initiative to fix it.
Waiting for both you to make a start could end up in you two waiting forever. Make the first move this time.
Get Involved With Each Other
One of the major problems in broken marriage is lack of connection between you and your spouse. Start paying attention to love languages and spend quality time with them to reconnect in life. Have date night or spend time to visit each other at work or meet with your friends. Involve each other’s opinions in everyday life.
Deal With Your Problems Privately
It might seem tempting but value your privacy. Don’t talk to people about relationship issues. They can’t help make your marriage work because you are the one who will decide on what to do. Only you can help yourself and your spouse.
Stop The Blaming
Avoid blame game in married life. Fixing is needed because you had a hand in it too. Think of what you could have possibly said and why you said it and consider these things to know if you still want to fix a broken marriage.
Marriage Is Like Two-Way Street And So Is Piecing It Together
Openly improve communication – it almost always prevents marital problems. Same way, it can also save marriage problems. Most couples reach out and discuss your marriage. It makes sense that the two of you are willing to listen to each other because that’s important in saving your relationship.
If the situation is too hot for the moment, walk away and then regroup when everything has settled. No hotheads. “Doing so can allow you to not only calm down but also to avoid worsening the situation by saying something in haste,” said Anna Osborn, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist.
Make All The Necessary Efforts
As much as fixing a broken marriage is a two-way street, marriage counselors say you can also fix things by making an effort on your own. Sometimes, one’s effort can be big enough to keep a marriage.
Fixing Broken Marriage
Stop Asking The Wrong Questions
Stop asking yourself why your marriage feel broken. Romantic relationships aren’t luck; they’re a choice. From personal experience, it isn’t about finding the right spouse; it’s about loving the spouse you chose so you could fit each other.
Absence Doesn’t Make The Heart Grow Fonder
According to marriage counselor, absence keeps your marriage broken and you from being on the same page. It could create distance and separate married couple, which could expand marriage problems and go against marital counseling.
Practice The Art Of “Time Out”
There are times when talking about your problems could make marriage work. Learn how to speak through actions from marriage counselor and know what to discuss and what not to through marriage and family therapists.
Marriage counseling couldn’t fix broken marriages in a snap. Married couples must also be taking measures to find solutions – creative ways or not – to fix your marriage and spend quality time together since marriage counseling relationship coach could provide tips (or maybe free ebook) on how to do it. But healthy relationship / healthy marriage efforts are yours and yours alone.
Rinse And Repeat
Like how Rome wasn’t built in a day, a marriage can’t be fixed overnight. It takes time, and there could be tears, but there could also be happiness. It’s not easy, and it could be a push and pull scenario. Just keep fixing it.
It isn’t all sunshine and rainbows
What will matter in the end is how you use these tips and strategies. Actively reach for each other and show each other that you still care about this marriage.
To add, “All couples can benefit from learning skills that are taught in couples therapy. That’s because these skills focus on cultivating a deep connection between partners and resolving conflict without shame or blame. And that helps all relationships,” says Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
How do I fix my emotionally broken marriage?
How can I fix my marriage with my husband?
Can you fix an unhealthy marriage?
How do you survive a crumbling marriage?
How do you know if your marriage is beyond repair?
“Mom!!! Sean is pulling my hair again!!! He is so mean, mom!”
And I heard my little Sean laugh with how he caused distress on his older sister, Sierra. Continue reading “How To Tame Your Cute And Naughty Toddler”
“Generally, marriage and relationship researchers suggest that the goal of couple therapy should be to change the patterns of interaction, emotional connection, and communication between the partners.” I always believed in this statement of John Gottman, PhD. But then, life can be fickle.
Let me tell you about my family – my husband and my five children, a bit of my life.
I got married when I was young and still in college. My husband is an Islam believer, and for us to be together in marriage, I had to convert to Islam. I didn’t mind doing that for I loved him dearly. He was my knight in shining armor, my king, and I was his queen. I was 19, naive, gullible and too much in love to understand the married life.
There will come a time that you will encounter a problem with your marriage. That’s fine and normal, and everyone experiences it.