I don’t think my children will understand at this time why I can’t stand the sight of their father. My parents were divorced too, and I was a daddy’s girl. I always had fights with my mom when I was younger because I wanted to be with my dad more than to be with her. We weren’t that close when I grew up, and like clockwork, history repeats itself. My first-born hates me and loves his father. She loves her father, who used to beat my emotional being, hurt my psychological health, and of course, gave me a taste of his hand a few times in the twenty years that we were together. That’s what I don’t get. She has seen how he was with me, but how is it that she hates me?
Considering you have a friend, spouse, or family member who works as a therapist, have you ever asked them how many individuals have visited their clinic after a breakup?
The truth is that you can probably tell from experience that dealing with a messy split is never a soothing activity. You lose the love of your life to another individual or due to bad decisions, after all. That is enough for you to go through various stages of grief. And if you do not realize that that’s what’s happening in you, you may either feel too depressed to function or too angry to see reason.
In case you want to avoid going to a therapist’s clinic as much as possible and deal with your situation with professional intervention, you should read the passage below. Who knows, that may encourage you to change some things in your life for the best. “When you’re alone, it creates opportunity for being more in touch with something inside of you,” she says. says Dr. Niloo Dardashti, a New York-based psychologist and relationship expert.
“I won’t give up on us even if the skies get rough…”
For people who have already found their soul mate, life partner, better half, or however you want to call it, this line in the lyrics from the song of Jason Mraz expresses how much they have gone through just to be with their loved one. But, for some other individuals, too, hearing this song is like having a realization when you get older and wiser after believing in fairy tales for so long: not everyone or everything has a happily ever after.
And that’s the painful truth.
It is very understandable for you to want to believe that the person you are romantically involved with right now is the person you will be with for the rest of your life, After all, admit it or not, male and female readers, we all want HAPPINESS in our lives. Plus, it is not wrong to fight for what you have if, God forbid, your relationship is challenged.
However, before you do this, you have to remember who you are. You are not just a love-struck person whose judgment is clouded by the intense feelings that you have for the other person because love can be addictive to some people. In my opinion, loving should be like those commercial brands that say their products are 99.9% effective. You can love 99.9%, that’s fine, but that remaining 0.01% should at least be love for yourself. This is an important fact that individuals often forget when they get involved with someone.
Withstanding all the trials that come in your way would be easier to win over when you are with the person who loves you as much as you do to him/her. Nevertheless, if you feel like you’re already emotionally battered and it’s just you who is left fighting for the relationship, LET GO. It will be hard, yes; you may feel as if you are dying, too. Despite that, what else can you do? Besides, it is the lesser evil than waiting for the other person to come around when you already know that he won’t do so and you’re just in denial about it. “When we’re not in a relationship we really have some time to get clear about what matters to us and what we value,” Dr. Jenny Taitz, clinical psychologist explains.
The main idea here is that you have to have your eyes fully open when you get into a relationship. You have to know the possible outcomes of it. Loving someone is a blissful feeling, but you have to be aware and ready when some unexpected things happen inside the relationship. Love whole-heartedly, but don’t be afraid to let go when you realize that it’s the only thing that you can do to save yourself – and the other person – from further heartaches.
Now, some of you may say, “How dare you to say these things?” while reading this, but all I can say is that I have been in that situation once upon a time. The happiness of being in love and loved, the pain that comes when indifferences start to show, and the helplessness that seeps through when you don’t know how else to save the relationship that is already on a dead end – I know such feelings firsthand. And I’m writing this as the person who has almost forgotten her real self after falling in love. Almost, but not quite.
I may or may not give up, but the important thing is that “I’m still looking up.”
You Should Treat Yourself In The Same Manner That You Want Your Potential Significant Other To Treat You
If you have not been kind to your former significant others, do not do it again. If you have not been nice to yourself, cease and desist. If You Are Lonely, Spend Some Time With Other People.
Helping other individuals will make you feel better. You could volunteer at an orphanage or a shelter for dogs.
Do not just settle for any individual. You should wait for your One True Love. Just hang on, he or she will come. “Dealing with setbacks can be exhausting, so it’s important not just to push your way back too hard, but to rest and recharge along the way,” shares Ellen Hendriksen, Ph.D.
In The End
Going into a relationship is your choice, not anyone else’s. Going out of it is a decision that you should be able to make as well, especially if you know that it gives you nothing but pain these days.
Think of everything mentioned above to heal yourself post-breakup. Good luck!
There are many reasons to enjoy life and live beautifully. While there are issues and problems, these cannot be avoided; you have all the means to move forward and shoo away from depression or anxiety. These issues can only bring you down when it’s not supposed to pull you to the ground.
Being unable to face the truths of life can make a person weak. They may have great dreams, but they are unable to confront their fears, thus making them at times helpless and with limited opportunities. Not even your family can help you with that since it is all you. Just remember, self-love.
“Self-love is important to living well. It influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work, and how you cope with the problems in your life. It is so important to your welfare that I want you to know how to bring more of it into your life,” says Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D.